The Incompetent Badass

If you are going to be a badass who lives an amazing life, there will be times when you feel completely incompetent. In fact, your ability to achieve badassedness is directly related to your ability to tolerate uncomfortable feelings like feeling lost and incompetent. 

What the hell? Yep you read that right.  If you are going to be amazing and have amazing life, work and relationships, you have to tolerate feeling like a complete idiot at times.
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This new territory comes with a learning curve. To learn new skills, you must admit that you don't know what the hell you're doing and fully experience all those feelings or just give up on being a total badass and settle for the way things have always been. Although, I think that you must be a badass because if you wanted to settle for the status quo you would not be so far out of your comfort zone to begin with. 

We all know someone who worked hard or took a risk and accomplished something big: weight loss, sobriety, or a great new relationship.  Only to screw it all up and go right back to where they started.  We've all seen (or been!) that person and scratched our heads in wonder at how they (or we) could have possibly thrown it all away after all that effort.

When you make a life change or heal an old wound, it changes how you see yourself and how you function in the world. For example, now you're in a relationship with someone who can actually be a good partner. But you've never had that before.  

You may feel strongly that you don't know how to communicate here.  Or you've lost a lot of weight and don't know how to move in your new body. Everyone looks at you and treats you differently, now what?  Or you're sober now and feel completely socially awkward. You're having all of the feelings the chemical defenses smoothed over and don't know how to cope. Right?

There is a major difference between those who sustain the changes they've worked so hard for and those who don't: the ability to tolerate the unknown. 

So what can you do in order not to lose your progress? Build a support team include at least one friend or family member who believes in you and supports what you are doing. Find other people who have done something similar to what you are doing. If you feel like you are the only person to ever go through this and no one could possibly understand, I guarantee you're wrong about that, you just may be too isolated to know that you are not alone. We have the internet now, get out there and search for your tribe and your mentors.

A qualified counselor is a valuable resource when you are doing big things. They can help you develop resources, coping skills and communication skills for new situations. 

A good Reiki healer can help relieve stress. They can give you support and comfort and help ease your fears. Reiki can even remove obstacles to your success. Your Reiki healer can help you tune into your best self and to your higher power so that you can remember who you are.

​Remember why you are doing this thing in the first place. Reiki can bring awareness and clarity about where you need help so, you can turn to the other members of your support team, not with a desperate plea of "Help me!" but clear questions. 

If you are making big changes and feeling completely scared, vulnerable, lost or stupid; you are doing great! The harder it is and the more incompetent you feel, the more you are learning. If you are learning lots of hard things, you are a badass.